Rubber Cutter
by Stormysky21
Summary: wrote this awhile back but thought that it would be best to post now. Luffy has been cutting since Ace died and is found out by Zoro. hope you like.
1. Chapter 1

Notes=after his brother's death, Luffy has been cutting. Now after the 2 year reunion...no one suspects or knows anything...until Zoro walks in on him cutting.

Chapter 1

Luffy P.O.V

I breathed deeply letting the pain out in every stroke of the blade. Only knives, the sea, sea stone, and swords could basically hurt me due to being a rubber-man. No one on my crew knew that their captain had turned to cutting to vent out his troubles.

I made sure to act like the same goofy Luffy as always around them so that they didn't suspect a thing. Zoro seemed to be the only one who did, especially when he knowticed that I would drink sake with him and Sanji now. I was 17 and still a bit young but did drink achole. Prefered cutting more but drank slightly.

I sighed and stashed my blade in my pants. If the girls ever knew I had one I would be in so much trouble seeing as it could hurt me and all. I had 2. One made of sea stone so that I had a bigger effect on my scars and a normal pin knife.

I put my knife away. It was the sea stone one so I would feel a bit off for awhile. I went down to the deck to have supper with everyone and put up my mask.

" Hi, Sanji-san! What's supper? Is there any meat?" I asked him. Meat made me think about burnt fleash and blood and seeing the dead body of my brother in front of me. I hated meat now yet...I had to keep up appearances and not let them know their captain fell apart and was hurting over broken promises and death.

I glanced at Zoro. His shirt was unbuttoned and the giant injury from the zombie island stood out horribly. I knew that Zoro had sacrificed himself for me...like Ace did and just seeing his injury hurt like hell at times yet also made me want to stay and be closer to him. Zoro made me feel like cutting less and made me feel safer. Knowing that he did a lot for me and got back breathing made me smile.

" I'm making steak and mash potatoes for supper." Sanji said. " Please be patient." I left. Lately I haven't been eating much either. Been recycling my food and putting it in the fridge since Sanji likes to save stuff up.

I doubt he knows it's me thats is barely ever eating or anything.

Normal P.O.V

Sanji watched as the brunet left. Zoro was in the room with him, drinking sake. " You think it's odd that he's been drinking too, don't you?" Zoro said. " Yeah but the kid is good at covering his tracks. The girls don't knowtice a thing and we cant get him to talk." Sanji said, opening the fridge and finding more leftovers of Luffys.

Both guys knew it was Luffy that had the eating problem but hadn't found a way to talk to him yet. " You handle the eating problem. You are good with food and stuff. If it gets worse, I will take care of it." Zoro said.

" I'm not the one who likes him Marmio" Sanji said. Sanji saw Luffy as his own little brother and hated how things were getting but agreed to handle this.

Luffy P.O.V

I wrapped up my leftovers when no one was looking and took them to the fridge but Sanji was there and apparently he has been waiting. " Zoro and I have been finding your leftovers in the fridge for weeks. Not feeling too hungry lately or something?" he asked. I shook my head. " No." I answered honestly. It was no surprise that it was only those 2 on the ship that knowticed.

Sanji was like an older brother at times and Zoro was basically the first friend I made when I set out to sea besides Coby that is. " Well, I want you to eat something. There is a salad in the fridge. Ok." he said.

Salad is better than meat. I would go veggitarian in an instant when it came to food especially after seeing my brother looking like he had been cooked alive like that.

After I was done eating I went to the boys bathroom to cut again. I cut in some of the old spots so that no one would know or suspect anything. I watched as the blood dripped down to the floor and then...

I heard footsteps. I quickly wiped up the blood on the floor and was about to pull down my sleeve when Zoro came around the corner. " I spent a good 30 minutes looking for you, Luffy. Didn't know you were in here, doing this." he said.

He didn't ask why or anything. I was about to put my knife in my pocket but he took it and I heard him sigh. It was the sea stone one. " Really Luffy? Trying worry the crap out of me?" he said.

I felt myself being lead to his room. " I can sleep alone" I said. " You're not. Not after how I found you. I care for you and get worried about you, Lu. I shouldn't ever have to find you this hurt." he told me.

I allowed him to take me into his room and then laid down with him on the couch that he had in there. " It's due to his death isn't it?" Zoro said. " Yeah. I keep feeling like one of you will die now and that one of you will break a promise or sacrifice yourself or something and I cant stand it. And Zoro, I already know about what you did for me when you fought Kuma so don't bother hiding it." I said. " The fact that you came back breathing makes me a tad happier because you are one of the few friends that I have that will."

I felt warm arms wrap themselves around me. " Don't sell yourself short so much." he said. " I would always come back for you, Luffy." Tears fell from my eyes as I fell asleep, crying in his arms.

Zoro P.O.V

I watched the sleeping form of the boy that I have loved for years and felt a twinge of pain. He's been cutting. My fingers gently touched some of his scars, feeling the deepness and age of them.

Then I watched as he slept. The door opened and Sanji came in. " Just wanted to know why you had Luffy be dragged to your room." he said. I tossed Sanji the knife with sea stone in it.

" He's been cutting" I answered. " He's not sleeping alone where he can do that again." I saw Sanji stare at a few of the scars on his wrists but he didn't say anything.

" I won't tell anyone on the ship. They will get over-worried and dramatic about it. Good thing we get to an island tomorrow. We need to find foods that he will eat. I don't think Luffy likes meat now and it would be nice to be able to see him not starving on the ship." Sanji said.

I nodded and agreed to take Luffy out with me on the island. It might be good for him and we could do something while we were off the ship.

Soon I also fell asleep.

Luffy P.O.V

I woke up and found that Zoro fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me. I smiled. He looked so cute like this. " He fell asleep holding you like that. I found both of you like this and came in to bring you breakfast." Sanji said.

I knowticed it was eggs and toast. No meat. " Um, Zoro took something of mine. You don't know where it went, do you?" I asked. " The sea stone knife was tossed into the ocean and only me and Zoro are going to know about your issues." Sanji said.

So that was where it went. Well, at least no one else would know. I trust Sanji and Zoro quite a bit and don't want everyone on the ship falling apart over my problems.

" Oh. Ok. Uh, thanks for having that stay between you, me and Zoro." I said. " Can I ask why you didn't just use a normal knife? Those will take forever to heal and it will be harder for them to stay hidden then." Sanji pointed out.

" I wanted them to stay" I said. " I feel guilty for him dieing and horrible about that promise and don't want to see anyone here die." Sanji knew that I knew about Zoro's sacrifice. He had caught me litsening in when talking to Zoro about it.

-Flashback-

" Marmio, you are going to cause him a lot of tears over this" Sanji said as I saw the grave injury from SA. I hated looking at the injury that almost killed the guy that I loved and almost took him from me.

" Yeah. I know but I couldn't stand to see Kuma standing over Luffy about to take his head to the marines. I had to do something!" Zoro said. " So you offered to take all of Luffy's pain in place of him keeping his life...you almost got yourself killed, baka! No more sacrificing yourself! He would be in tears if he found your bloody body somewhere on an island due to this." Sanji said.

Zoro nodded and left. My stomach grumbled for meat(liked meat then)and I glanced at the fridge waiting for Sanji to leave. " It's on the house, shitty rubber-man. Why did you stay and litsen?" he asked.

" I wanted to know why you were madder than usualle at him?" I answered but now regretted it.

-End Of Flashback-

Sanji took a puff from his cigarette. " You and Zoro are going into the village to get a bit of air. It will do you some good. Also I doubt you like meat much so I am having you choose your favorite foods in the village." Sanji said.

I was quite. " Ok" I answered. " Can I go to my room and get dressed now then?" He nodded his head.

I went into my room and found my spare blade and added a few extra cuts and then stashed it in a better more secret hidden place. I pulled on a shirt, a long sleeved jacket, pants, and shoes.

I checked and made sure the blood was clotting and bandaged up and then came out and waited for Zoro. " The red-haired pirates will be in town so visit them or something." Sanji said. I knew he was suggesting seeing old friends and stuff.

Zoro finally woke up and was dressed. " Ok. Let's go to town, Luffy." he said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Zoro P.O.V

We left for the village and I decided to go to the pub with Luffy to see what he would order first so that we had a vague idea on what to get for food and stuff. The waitress smiled at us and asked what we wanted. She was a bit of a flirt but I have never been into girls.

Robin and Nami were like sisters to me and Toshige(the marine girl)was a great fighter and fun to talk to but not someone to date and all. All 3 girls did aknowledge that I was a normal person though.

I ordered sake and a typical adverage meal that Sanji would've cooked up any time. Luffy ordered tomato and spinach pizza and sake. Odd choice but I at least knew something now.

It was odd, seeing Luffy go veggitarian or something but at least he was eating. " Sir, that's our best veggie pizza here! I had no idea that your friend would like it at all" the waitress said.

" Neither did I" came a voice from behind me. The Red-Haired pirate crew stood there and apparently they were stunned to see Luffy go veggitarian. " Well he's changed a bit" I said.

Luffy ate the last of his pizza. I still had no idea how to lie it off to the rest of the crew about this. " I cant stand the sight of meat any more. Not after seeing my brother burnt the way he was." Luffy told Shanks.

" So that is why you refused to eat meat now?" he said. Luffy nodded. " I had asked that the rest of my crew didn't know about it." Luffy said.

I was quite. Shanks was like a dad to him since Garp honestly never treated Luffy kindly or anything.

The meal with the Red-haired pirates was cheerfull and meery and it did lighten up Luffy's mood a bit. After about an hour or so of visiting with them, we went to go finish our shopping.

I had decided on veggies and stuff for Luffy since he seemed to have the diet of a veggitarian now. When we got back, Sanji looked through the food we got. I had food for the crew as well as Luffy's stuff.

" You 2 will need a bath. You both most likely smell" Sanji said.

Luffy P.O.V

Crap. I am not able to bath by myself. I saw that the Red-haired pirates were staying with us for awhile. " Sanji can I please take a bath alone for at least a week?" I asked.

" You know the answer to that. Now shut up and deal with it." he said. I groaned as Zoro and I headed to the bathroom.

Normal P.O.V

" Why doesn't he want to have anyone in the bathroom with him?" Ben asked. Sanji and Ben were becoming close...like relationship close. " He doesn't want Zoro seeing something." Sanji said, taking a long drag from a cigarette. Smoking had always been a stress habit for the blonde and it was starting to show.

Ben grabbed the cancer stick and threw it into the ocean. He hated drugs and wished that Sanji didn't do them. It would increase his stress more.

Most of the Red-haired pirates had helped buy food for the sunny go since they were staying too. " Nami, Robin, Ussop, and Chopper don't know what is going on with Luffy and he really prefers it that way so try to not say much." Sanji said.

" Ok" Ben said. They heard a bunch of yelling in the bathroom and Luffy saying that he was fine with not taking a bath.

Luffy P.O.V

I felt someone pull off my clothes, grab my floatie, put me on it and shove me in. " Now was that so bad?" Sanji asked, ignoring the new cuts. I looked away wanting to get out of here and to run for it but knew I couldn't.

I cleaned up and stuff. Zoro lifted my arm and looked but said nothing. After I got dressed next to Zoro and went back on to the deck with him, Nami and Robin were out there having a snack with the rest of the Red-haired pirates.

I haven't told my crew much on what has happened much over the last 2 years of my life. It was sort of depressing and dark and not fun to think about. It was also why I was happy to be around Zoro more now.

Shanks knew one incident due to saving me from it.

-Flashback-

I was getting food and stuff for me and my trainer for the next few weeks when I was pulled into a dark alley. I stared into the harsh cold eyes of some of the pirates that had been there when Ace had died along with White Beard.

I wasn't exactly popular or anything due to my actions or anything but didn't expect me to be so wasn't surprised by the ambush. They beat and punched me and then they pulled my pants down.

" I hope this hurts like hell, Strawhat!" one of them hissed and rammed himself into me harshly. They continued for awhile until I heard an angry yell and them being attacked and a few of them being killed.

" Luffy are you ok?" It was Shanks. I winced and picked up the bags of food and looked away at the meat. " I'll manage" I said.

-End Of Flashback-

I hoped that they didn't know that I was violated so harshly like that in some rotten alley in a street on a village. " So captain-san, I heard that you went into the village with Zoro and got our food and stuff." Robin said.

" Had nothing better to do" I answered. I left out the part that I was now a vegan and Zoro and I didn't go to the swordshop mostly because 2 of us would've ended up with something sharp and Zoro didn't like the idea.

" Sounds like you had fun. Me and Nami-san should go somewhere sometime." she said, smiling at Nami who blushed slightly. I knew the 2 liked one another but Nami was way too shy to say anything to Robin.

I was happy that we were staying long enough for the girls to go somewhere together though. " Well, I think I am turning in. Good night." I said.

Zoro P.O.V

He ate at the pub so it was hard to worry. " So what kind of food is he into so that I know what to make him?" Sanji asked. " Luffy is a veggitarian but I can cook that easily. I used to go without meat at the dojo when I was a kid so don't worry. You can cook for everyone else and I will cook for him. Ok." I said. Sanji agreed.

It would be easy to make veggitarian meals seeing as I had to make them when I was a kid to stay in shape for training. I hope Luffy loves my cooking. Sanji must've seen the look on my face because he smirked.

" Excited to cook for your secret koi, huh, marmio?" he asked. " Shut up, swirly brow! At least I don't pretend to like girls." I said. He blushed at that and then we got into our usualle fight until Luffy and Ben came into the room.

Sanji turned dark red. " What can I make for you, Ben?" he asked. Ben chuckled at the look on Sanji's face. " How about just some chocolate cake" he said and then he bent down and whispered something in Sanji's ear and Sanji turned an even brighter shade of red. " Um, sure." he said. " Let me get this done first, Ben-kun" Sanji said.

Apparently they already were a couple. Luffy was looking away. Luffy was overly uncomfortable with sex for some unknown reason although he had admitted the whole trusting me thing and all after I found out he was cutting.

Luffy slept on the same bed with me but he always wanted to be a foot or so away mostly. I didn't mention it to Sanji because after Luffy felt comfortable he fell into my arms and just laid there and would mutter apologies to me and keep telling me how much he didn't want any of us hurt and stuff.

" Where are they going?" Luffy asked. " To have sex. Sanji and Ben really like one another and sometimes people who love one another do that." I answered. " Oh. Zoro, does good sex hurt...the kind where people love each other that is?" Luffy asked.

Why would he ask that. Well if you're a virgin it stings for a bit but if you put lube or something on it it isn't too painfull. " Luffy, when you find the right person, they won't let you feel that kind of pain. They go at the pace that you are comfortable with and make sure that you are prepared first. Can I ask why you asked this?" I said.

Tears fell from his eyes. " Because I love you, Zoro, but I no longer deserve you." he answered. More tears and he ran towards the dock and jumped off.

I felt angry tears fall and jumped after him and pushed myself deeper into the waves. Deeper and deeper and finally found him and swam back up to get us air and found everyone waiting for us.

Sanji threw us a life preserver and we got back on board. Nami and Chopper were shaking near the edge of the mast and I went over to them, soaked.

" Are you 2 ok?" I asked. Nami was like a little sister to me. " He jumped. I cant believe he jumped." she sobbed. " Nami, Luffy is staying with me and Sanji is keeping an eye on him. Try not to worry." I said.

" I am also lending captain-san some books. I know that he loves to read them and that he has looked through them." Robin said. She is a lot smarter than she lets on. Most likely how she found out about my sacrificing myself.

I sighed and went over to Luffy who was curled up. " Come on, Lu. Let's get to my room. We can talk there. Ok." I said.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Luffy P.O.V

Zoro took me to his room and I was laid down on the couch. " Now why don't you think you are worth the love if you love me?" Zoro asked me. Tears fell from my eyes.

" I was raped by pirates that were mad about what had happened at the marine arc. The only reason that they didn't beat me as badly was because Shanks had shown up and saved me from that." I answered.

I felt Zoro's arms around me. " The seas is a scarey place, Luffy. Just because some thugs raped you due to some tragedy doesn't mean I don't love you because I do and I always will. And don't you dare ever scare the crap out of me like that again by jumping in the sea like that ever!"

" Hai Zoro." I said. " So I wanted to know...did you want to try and see if sex felt nice or not since you asked?" Zoro asked. I gazed into his loving and kind hearted eyes. I trust him and always have.

" Hai...but go slowly" I said. He smiled gently and pulled out some lotion. I eyed it. " You're suppose to use that to open someone up and make things more gentle on them. You'll see what I mean." he told me as he lathered his hands and then pulled my pants down.

I felt him stroke my length carefully making sure not to take it too fast. Then he positioned himself and he went slow as promised and held my hand the whole time. I felt like I was being treated nicely.

I leaned into his touch as he gently rubbed my back while going in and out of me gently and not too hard. Then we just laid there. " Luffy, where is your spare knife?" Zoro asked.

" Why?" I asked. " I wish you wouldn't cut anymore and want it gone." he answered. I lightly kissed him.


End file.
